Milo - Mr. Whuffles Revisited

As the small halfling snuck his way through the shadows of the town, he was a little hurt to find no traces of Siris anywhere. It had become one of Milo's favorite games. Whenever Milo would leave the group, the monk would eventually follow him to "make sure that he wasn't causing any trouble", which Milo would have taken offense at if he didn't enjoy the chase as much as he did. It was always fun to slip the poor Siris's notice, make a circle around him or cut over a rooftop, "carelessly" leave a track behind him and send him on a random direction while Milo giggled to himself and ate an apple or loaf of bread that had been left abandoned in some locked house or stall. Of course, he'd get bored with this eventually and get back in front of the monk and leave another sign of his passing for Siris to catch and then make their way back to the group.

However, the monk was nowhere to be found tonight. Milo slumped down on a stall table and pouted, his left hand absentmindedly picking the simple lock on the stall's enclosure and poking his fingers around inside.

Milo looked down to his lap to find a small dog's toy laying there. "Oh, Bobo! I almost forgot! The doggy! Alim got a horsey and when I said I wanted one too, he said I was too small for one and I should get a doggy instead! Alim's such a smart guy, so we have to find a doggy, Bobo!"

The halfling jumped up and began his search anew, this time checking out stables and private residences for a suitable new playmate. After a few hours of searching, Milo honed in on a stable that sold the riding dogs in question. After a quick drop to a shadowy corner and a sap to the back of the head of the young stable boy who had been assigned to watch against thieves that night, Milo took his time examining the three riding dogs in the stable.

"What do you think of this one, Bobo? He's awfully pretty. Back all straight and it says here that he does tricks! Oh he'd be wonderful, Bobo! Does doggy want some meat?" he asked as he grabbed the rare piece of horse steak that the stable boy had just sat down to eat before abruptly deciding that he needed a good nap.

Milo was just about to leave with his new friend when he heard barking and a voice from outside. He left his would-be riding dog in his stall and climbed up to the roof to have a look.

---

"Ya thrice-cursed son of a bitch! Shut yer yapper, or I swear by Shar 'erself, I'll cut me losses and find me hammer at the back of yer skull!"

When the dwarf's insults did nothing more than to turn the dog's barks into whines, it's head bowed, he got off the blasted thing and pulled his warhammer from it's straps.

"Ya useless broken flea-bitten canine! I'll sho-..." The dwarf's anger was cut short.

---

The dog looked up as it's owner's voice stopped to see the dwarf standing over it with a surprised look on his face. In his hand was a piece of horse steak that had apparently just hit him square in the face.

The dog could smell the meat. It had been so long since it'd been fed a decent meal and his ribs had began to painfully poke out from it's sides. To make matters worse, the dwarf himself was not getting lighter and indeed all the trips to the taverns had increased his girth. Something feral inside it swelled. Enough was enough. The dog licked his lips.

"What the hell do you think you're looking at, ya damned mutt!?!"

Just then the dog pounced it's angry, abusive master who smelled so much like meat.

---

"Isn't he just the greatest thing ever, Bobo?" Milo floated down to where the doggy was finishing his meal of horse steak and dwarf head, having found armor quite difficult to chew through, but managing a bit just the same. "He's so smart and nice! And he's got little fleas and everything! He's just like Mr. Whuffles back home! And this time we won't feed him any herbs, will we Bobo? Let's call him Mr. Whuffles 2!"

The doggy looked up at him almost ashamed as it licked it's lips of the dwarven blood.

"It's okay, Mr. Whuffles 2! He was a bad man. YOU SHOULDN"T HURT DOGGIES!!!" The last he screamed at the dwarf's headless remains.

"Oh, sorry Mr. Whuffles 2, but some people have no manners! I'm going to be your new friend now, okay? Are you thirsty?" The halfling tossed the small dog chew toy he'd found earlier as he reached in his backpack and pulled out a waterskin and, picking the bits of bloody dwarf out as best he could, filling the dwarven helmet with fresh drinking water.

"You'll never be treated like that again Mr. Whuffles 2! We may have a long trip ahead of us with all my friends, but you'll like them. Even Drevlin! He's a dwarf too, but he's nice enough to doggies! And Alim can teach you tricks! And Al...well, he'll probably not like you but he'll leave you alone. And Siris will like not having me on his shoulders when we travel, although I admit, Mr. Whuffles 2, that was a lot of fun! And we'll have lots of food for you to eat so you can be big and strong for the journey! Oh we're going to be the best of friends Mr. Whuffles 2! You, me, and Bobo! Say hi, Bobo!"

Milo's attention drifted to the dwarven corpse sitting in the middle of the alley and he quickly moved it to a more hidden location. Looking down he saw the dwarf's quite well made warhammer on the ground.

"...and we can use that to buy you some food and stuff for the trip tomorrow!"

The halfling mounted his new friend with the warhammer shoved firmly in his backpack and they trotted off towards the rest of the party, the dog's bloody footprint trail eventually fading to nothingness in the dusty streets of town.